Bob left his swimming trunks at the gym. They disappeared from the locker room so he had to buy another pair. We thought that would be simple, but it wasn't. First we went to Sears. No men's swimming trunks there. We were astonished. None at Kohl's, either, and certainly none at Walgreen's, though they did sell some strange-looking mesh undershorts. We found a rack at Ross Dress for Less, but they were weird -- sort of rapper/surfer trunks, baggy shorts that ballooned down to the knees in wild patterns and colors. One could picture an adolescent boy wearing them hanging down his ass or maybe a surfer guy at Malibu -- young and crazy guys, not old and sedate. We finally went to a sports store where he bought a pair of utilitarian Speedo trunks. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) they fit so snugly that they were even more outrageous -- in an understated Cary Grant sort of way.
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